I have a confession to make about an addiction that I have. I am addicted to a blog entitled Channeling Erik (http://www.channelingerik.com). The subtitle is "Conversations with my Son in the Afterlife". This bog is written by a woman whose 20-year old son took his own life. She began to channel him with help from others and now posts daily. I have found their conversations to be quite amazing and useful. First of all, it has helped me let go of any fear of death (I do fear physical pain). The topics they talk about are fascinating. From the far reaches of the outer universe to subatomic particles and everything in-between...
Today she did a bog entitled "How honest are you". Which is right on point. (Excerpts below)
Sometimes it’s so hard to look inside and ask yourself, “Am I really being honest with myself?” I know I have that problem. Sometimes it’s because I’m afraid I won’t like what I find out about myself. Sometimes it’s about whether I’m being honest with others. Sometimes it’s about trying to get out of doing what needs to be done, and oh, so much more. But if we look at ourselves with our eyes and heart wide open. It frees you. It allows you to live life with your heart rather than your logical mind. It’s enables you to embrace that vulnerability that Erik discusses so often (ad nauseam at times.)
Erik: Yes, and it takes courage, too, but it becomes easier with practice, and then you see that you feel better and less like shit. Being emotionally dishonest with ourselves is based in part on our expectations to be perfect. That’s completely unreasonable. That’s all bullshit. Mistakes are the seeds for our evolution. Don’t be afraid to see yourself through clear glasses. You’re perfect just the way you are.
Here’s another thing about emotional honesty in general. You have to be emotionally honest with yourself to know that you’re going to be okay and to know how to be emotionally honest with others. Being emotionally honest with ourselves and with others is intertwined.
We don’t have anything in our culture that teaches us how to be emotionally honest with ourselves. We’re not taught how to analyze our choices openly and honestly. We’re not taught to be vulnerable with ourselves. Instead, we’re taught to avoid facing those parts that we don’t like about ourselves by sticking our head in the sand like some ... ostrich. Most of our schools don’t teach kids how to communicate with themselves or with others, but we don’t have to wait until we’re adults ... to be able to find what we define as our truest self. We don’t have to get to the point where we need some life coach or therapist to sift through the ... versions of ourselves that we’ve collected while we’ve had those blinders on. Look at our physical health. We’re taught to go to the doctor only when we’re broken when really we should be going to them when we’re healthy. It is possible to learn how to remain emotionally honest with yourself before you develop emotionally dishonesty. Again, this takes inner awareness and asking hard questions like, “Am I making excuses for myself?” “Am I rationalizing things?” “Am I blaming someone else for the shit that’s all mine?” .... You reflect inwardly to understand your feelings and your intent, and that takes a conscious effort.
Me: You know, when I’m emotionally honest with myself and with others, I get this enormous sense of relief.
Erik: Hell, yeah because you’re accepting. Think of acceptance as a key to a prison. Once you accept who you are and what you’re feeling and what your circumstances are, which is also rooted in feelings, you open the door and let it out. Your emotions are free.
